What does this mean? Well legals are the paper work that starts the process to bring our daughter home. The first thing we received is the I-600. The I-600 is a 2 page form that is a Petition to Classify an Orphan as an Immediate Relative. Our I-600 has been turned into our agencies Portland branch office. They will be filing it for us with The United States Citizen and Immigration Services (USCIS) which is a branch of Home Land Security. The USCIS also handled our finger prints and background checks along with our I-600a (also known as the Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition).
Now we wait for our I-600 to be approved.
After our I-600 application is approved, USCIS will notify us of approval. After approval our file (which has been growing with every document we submit) will be sent to the National Visa Center (NVC). In April of 1994, the Department of State opened a permanent Immigrant Visa processing facility at the National Visa Center (NVC) in Portsmouth, NH. The NVC will log our I-600 In and Out and we will be assigned an SEO number (the SEO is the case number).
After the NVC logs us out they will send our file to the US embassy in Seoul, Korea. The US embassy in Seoul, Korea will send a packet of paperwork known as the P3 to our agency in Korea. This packet /P3 needs to be completed by our agency in Korea and then returned to the US embassy in Korea.
In Korea an application for our child's Emigration Permit (EP) will be submitted. The Korean ministry will review the EP application and approve it. Once our EP has been approved, our agency in Korea will file for our child's travel certificate this is similar to a passport.
After our agency in Korea has obtained both our child's Emigration Permit approval and our child's Travel Certificate, the agency will then schedule our child for a Visa Physical. Visa Physicals are done by a non-agency doctor at our agencies clinic or at a local hospital. The Visa Physicals are typically scheduled once a month.
After the Visa Physical our agency in Korea will return the P3 packet with all the necessary documentation to the US embassy. At this point the US embassy will set an embassy appointment and a visa interview will be scheduled.
Our daughter does not have to physically attend the embassy appointment or actually be interviewed for the visa interview. Once those two things are done we will receive the call that we have been waiting for since we started this process. The call that tells us our daughter is ready to leave Korea and come home. At this time our plan is for me to travel alone to South Korea, stay between 3 to 5 days and bring our daughter home. We will keep the blog up to date as we enter and complete each of the above stages.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country.
Proverbs 25:25
Earlier this month we received the call informing us that we had been referred the file of a little girl who was six and a half months old. We were told that we would be receiving an email that would contain all the information about her including her picture.
S and I sat down at the computer and decided that we would open her medical file first. We learned that she was born August 24, 2009. I guess I can say that from this day forward I have officially forfeited my birthday. She was 8 lbs and 14 oz and 21.7 inches at birth. She was full term and had a normal delivery.
She is living in Seoul Korea with a Foster Mother and Father. She is right on target developmentally. She already has two bottom teeth and has started to creep along. It is very likely we will have a walker by the time she comes home.
Then the time came for us to open the file that held her picture. We both sat silently as we gazed upon our Meant To Be… She is Perfect.
Now what everyone has been waiting for…
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Mommy Shopping
When I first found out I was pregnant with J, I started reading books, everything I could get my hands on really. “What to expect when expecting” “What to eat when expecting” If it had to do with being pregnant, giving birth or bring home a new baby I had to read it. I took a lot of valuable information way from these books. So when I was pregnant with L, I re-read a few of them - a bit of refresher. So now that we are “paper pregnant” and waiting for # 3 who will be a baby but not a new born I decided I needed to get my hands on everything I could about adoption.
I have also been reading a lot of articles on the internet. One article in particular caught my attention. The subject -
MOMMY SHOPPING
Perfect. I am a Mommy!
Perfect. I like to Shop!
Sounds Good, but mommy shopping is not good for the baby or the Mommy (or Daddy). So what is this Mommy Shopping? I will try to explain Mommy Shopping the best I can and how it may affect our daughter.
Our daughter will have been separated from her birth mother and then again she will be separated from at least one other mother, her foster mother, before she will join our family. Given the amount of loss our little girl will have experienced she may come home ready to be once again handed off to yet another care giver.
To the world our daughter may look well adjusted, happy and very social. She may reach out to family, friend’s even strangers. She may coo and make eye contact with Grandma or the checker at the grocery store. She may appear completely happy to be passed around from family to friends to the mailman. But what she is doing is Mommy Shopping. She expects that the two (maybe even more) heartbreaking separations that she has already experienced in her very short little life will continue to happen. Once my little girl is placed in my arms I will do everything in my power to make sure she never feels the need to Mommy Shop.
When our little girl gets home we need to help her establish that we are her family. That we are her Mommy and Daddy and that she never needs to look further then home to know she is Loved, Safe and Wanted. We need to reinforce that we are her family before we can help her establish bonds with other family members and friends.
An action as simple and harmless as allowing Grandma to hold her, feed her, change her diaper, is only reinforcing that Mommies (and Daddies too) are replaceable. If we allow our daughter to Mommy Shop we are also allowing her to avoid Bonding with us.
In order to make sure that our daughter does not Mommy Shop we plan to temporarily restrict holding to just Mommy, Daddy and brothers when she first comes home. We are also going to have to restrict feedings and attending to her cries and other intimate needs as well.
We understand that many of our family and friends are just as anxious and excited for our little girl to join our family. All of us will have looked at her picture many times. We will have discussed her arrival. We will have made plans for her to join the family. To us she will already be part of our family. But to her we will be strangers. She will not be old enough to understand that her Foster Family was only temporary. She will not be old enough to know that she will be leaving her birth country and all it holds; familiar faces, sights, smells, all that she has grown to know as her home.
While we have been waiting for her she has been living with a wonderful family in South Korea. They have been the ones that have awoken many times a night for feedings. They have been the ones who have rocked her to sleep and comforted her when she has cried out at night. They are the ones who she sees when she first wakes up and when she closes her eyes at night. They have been the ones to play peek-a-boo. And in a blink of the eye they too are now gone and she is once again in the hands of a stranger.
Because of all she has been through we plan to do the following;
We are going to baby our baby. We are going to consider her emotional age when she comes home and not her chronological age. Don’t be surprised if you see us giving her a bottle instead of a Sippy-cup, or tending to her at every little whimper. She needs to get what we all give our new born babies, the trust that we are her Mommy and Daddy and we are here for her forever.
We are going to stay close to Home. And at first we will also need to limit visitors. We are strangers to this little girl. She has not been waiting a long time for us. So when we come home we will stay close to home, limit visitors and when we introduce her to family and friends we will restricting holding and passing her around (but this won’t be forever we promise).
We plan to Use a Baby Carrier and carry her as long and often as possible. She didn’t get 9 months of Mommy carrying her around and she needs that closeness to bond.
Establish a routine, yes us. Although we have never been much to a strict routine with the boys, we plan to provide our daughter with a very strict routine at first to allow her to adjust to the many changes in her life. We feel that giving her a consistent routine will help her predict what will happen next and give her a feeling of safety.
Often when parents come home with a new baby everyone wants to hold the baby and help with feeding and diaper changes, ok only Grandmas enjoy doing this. If you want to help but don’t know what to do because we are restricting the care of our daughter to Mommy and Daddy only. I may suggest that our boys will love the extra attention to be given to them until their little sister is ready to be cared for by anyone other than Mommy and Daddy. After all we don’t want her Mommy Shopping!
Some great information on this subject can be found at: www.A4everFamily.org
I have also been reading a lot of articles on the internet. One article in particular caught my attention. The subject -
MOMMY SHOPPING
Perfect. I am a Mommy!
Perfect. I like to Shop!
Sounds Good, but mommy shopping is not good for the baby or the Mommy (or Daddy). So what is this Mommy Shopping? I will try to explain Mommy Shopping the best I can and how it may affect our daughter.
Our daughter will have been separated from her birth mother and then again she will be separated from at least one other mother, her foster mother, before she will join our family. Given the amount of loss our little girl will have experienced she may come home ready to be once again handed off to yet another care giver.
To the world our daughter may look well adjusted, happy and very social. She may reach out to family, friend’s even strangers. She may coo and make eye contact with Grandma or the checker at the grocery store. She may appear completely happy to be passed around from family to friends to the mailman. But what she is doing is Mommy Shopping. She expects that the two (maybe even more) heartbreaking separations that she has already experienced in her very short little life will continue to happen. Once my little girl is placed in my arms I will do everything in my power to make sure she never feels the need to Mommy Shop.
When our little girl gets home we need to help her establish that we are her family. That we are her Mommy and Daddy and that she never needs to look further then home to know she is Loved, Safe and Wanted. We need to reinforce that we are her family before we can help her establish bonds with other family members and friends.
An action as simple and harmless as allowing Grandma to hold her, feed her, change her diaper, is only reinforcing that Mommies (and Daddies too) are replaceable. If we allow our daughter to Mommy Shop we are also allowing her to avoid Bonding with us.
In order to make sure that our daughter does not Mommy Shop we plan to temporarily restrict holding to just Mommy, Daddy and brothers when she first comes home. We are also going to have to restrict feedings and attending to her cries and other intimate needs as well.
We understand that many of our family and friends are just as anxious and excited for our little girl to join our family. All of us will have looked at her picture many times. We will have discussed her arrival. We will have made plans for her to join the family. To us she will already be part of our family. But to her we will be strangers. She will not be old enough to understand that her Foster Family was only temporary. She will not be old enough to know that she will be leaving her birth country and all it holds; familiar faces, sights, smells, all that she has grown to know as her home.
While we have been waiting for her she has been living with a wonderful family in South Korea. They have been the ones that have awoken many times a night for feedings. They have been the ones who have rocked her to sleep and comforted her when she has cried out at night. They are the ones who she sees when she first wakes up and when she closes her eyes at night. They have been the ones to play peek-a-boo. And in a blink of the eye they too are now gone and she is once again in the hands of a stranger.
Because of all she has been through we plan to do the following;
We are going to baby our baby. We are going to consider her emotional age when she comes home and not her chronological age. Don’t be surprised if you see us giving her a bottle instead of a Sippy-cup, or tending to her at every little whimper. She needs to get what we all give our new born babies, the trust that we are her Mommy and Daddy and we are here for her forever.
We are going to stay close to Home. And at first we will also need to limit visitors. We are strangers to this little girl. She has not been waiting a long time for us. So when we come home we will stay close to home, limit visitors and when we introduce her to family and friends we will restricting holding and passing her around (but this won’t be forever we promise).
We plan to Use a Baby Carrier and carry her as long and often as possible. She didn’t get 9 months of Mommy carrying her around and she needs that closeness to bond.
Establish a routine, yes us. Although we have never been much to a strict routine with the boys, we plan to provide our daughter with a very strict routine at first to allow her to adjust to the many changes in her life. We feel that giving her a consistent routine will help her predict what will happen next and give her a feeling of safety.
Often when parents come home with a new baby everyone wants to hold the baby and help with feeding and diaper changes, ok only Grandmas enjoy doing this. If you want to help but don’t know what to do because we are restricting the care of our daughter to Mommy and Daddy only. I may suggest that our boys will love the extra attention to be given to them until their little sister is ready to be cared for by anyone other than Mommy and Daddy. After all we don’t want her Mommy Shopping!
Some great information on this subject can be found at: www.A4everFamily.org
Monday, March 1, 2010
WE ARE
Yes you read that right. We are #1 on the wait list! Needless to say we are ExCiTed. So what does this mean? It means that the next little girl that is not adopted domestically in South Korea would be referred to us. As with most of this process the time frame as to when this could happen is unknown. It could take a few weeks or a few months. What we do know is that soon we will get to see the face of our daughter. Oh did I mention we are ExCiTed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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